Song of the moment: "Bitching" by my Mom
I am feeling: GUAR.




Yes, I can hear my mom bitching in the back of me about something or other. Ohhhh, it's music to my ears. *rolls eyes* Anywho.... I finally played off another picture from our Computer Graphics club at Harbor [called club Graphix---How original, ne? :P]. I played off Dylan's picture and made this:



Crappiness to it's fullest.

So yeah... with that, I also made this picture from Aquile's image:





The mozaic filter is of the 0wnage!! :o

Song of the moment: "Sara" by Boa
I am feeling: DIGUSTED.



OMGSKJDHFKJHSDF KLKJSDHFKHSD FKSKJDF.

"i can't believe you are so hott looking. if i had one nite with you, i would definitely lick you from head to toe and eat you inside out...........i could end up eating forever ~ . you are definitely one hot babe would you any chance be interested in seeing how you i pleasure you .........i am definitely very good w/ my tongue"
-luvPusssJuice

That came from my comment box at findapix.com. -_-;. Geezus mother fucking Christ... *dies* Here's another one:

Sup Babie gurl....Thanx for showing Much Lub....i feel Special...Damn Your not bad your self gurl...Nice Bootie you got!!! -Tee-Hee-....aite hit me bak up aite *peace* babie gurl hope to hear from you soon...So Long For now...
-oop3t3roo

Okay, that one wasn't that bad. The guy that sent me that was actually not bad looking plus, he was my age... unlike the other horny guy. He was what... 25? :x


I'm thinking of picking up the next Korean whore I see and finally make a lesbian out of me. =\ [Tee hee! That rhymed! XD]

Song of the moment: "Another World" by Gackt
I am feeling: Happy.




Wheee... I get to go to MGL tommorow! I mean.... that's if Chubbs actually ends up driving me. Instead of flaking out that last time. -_-;;;;. Anywho... if I do go, then I'm going to meet up with Ray and part of A.S.S. there... Ray and I get to practice/work on our routine and I GET TAPIOCA EXPRESS. I know a lot of the locals in Silicon Valley are tired of eating that, but it's just... oohhh. I would be lucky if I got Tapioca Express once every month. o_O;

I need money. I might borrow some from Christina... or tell my mom I have another art fee I have to pay, and she'll give me 20 dollars. ^^;. I need a job, that's what I need. Oh yeah: Speaking of "adult" responsibilities, Driver's Ed. is this Monday. Well, the meeting for it is. Too bad I can't go because I have a FUCKING dentist appointment for a root canal.. so I MIGHT have to wait until summer to get my liscense.

Oh! You cannot believe what happened to me yesterday [in which I failed to mention on yesterday's blog]. I was wearing his "hootchie" shirt under a really big grey jacket. [I'll post a pic later]. I was walking home, right? I was walking right next to the 7-11 on the street of my house. The next thing I knew.... this red Mustang convertible pulls up right in front of me... does a circle around 7-11 and the guy driving it starts pacing me... driving right next to me. I was like.. WTF.... and the guy was all, "Hey, baby.. *kissy noise*"

EWWWWWWW.

I gave him a disgusted look and flipped him off.

After that, he drove around in another circle and did the same thing. "Baby, come here". Ugh. I just ignored him, and he eventually went away. CREEP. I felt like I was dressed kind of raggity that day, too.. I mean, GOD. My jacket was really, really big and I was wearing jeans. WTF. I hate those kinds of guys. Even guys that stare at you and make it so God damned obvious. IT PISSES ME OFF. I wish that guy got out of his car so I could have beat the living shit out of him. -_-;

But yeah, geezus Christ. I even get stared at by idiots and get hit on at the Boardwalk even when I'm in my "comfortable DDR clothes". I.E., white or black Nike sweatpants and a DDR Freak/Spot shirt. This one white hobo-guy that looked like a wannabe thug [Picture a hippy with dreadlocks dressed in baggy, Fubu clothing] from the Boardwalk was like, "Yo, baby.. you gotta man? HOLLAAAA."

*CRINGE*

Song of the moment: "Haru Haru" by Tashannie
I am feeling: Sad.



I MISS MY HAIR.



But... I love my new haircut. It's so much easier to maintain and style. ^^;

Song of the moment: "Ichibaniikou" by Shimatani Hitomi
I am feeling: Idiotic.



I am NOT pangit: OMG OMG OM G
I am NOT pangit: DUDE
MidniteRain012: yo?
I am NOT pangit: THE SHIT DELETED MY ARCHIVES
I am NOT pangit: OMG
I am NOT pangit: ON BlOGGER
I am NOT pangit: GAHHHH

I am NOT pangit: WHAT A FUCKER
MidniteRain012: all i see is the 9-1 - 9-7
MidniteRain012: is that supposed to be there?
I am NOT pangit: WAAAAH
I am NOT pangit: i had so much more!
I am NOT pangit: dooooode
MidniteRain012: ooooh
MidniteRain012: yea u did
MidniteRain012: mmmm
MidniteRain012: KILL KILL KILL?
I am NOT pangit: *cry*
MidniteRain012: *pat pat
MidniteRain012: hey is it saving your stuff now?
I am NOT pangit: yeah....
I am NOT pangit: it like
I am NOT pangit: deleted my stuff
I am NOT pangit: when i changed my template
I am NOT pangit: /layout
I am NOT pangit: dude
MidniteRain012: can u get it back at all?
I am NOT pangit: nope
I am NOT pangit: stupid little shit fucker...
I am NOT pangit: grrrr
MidniteRain012: hehe you said stupid ^_^
MidniteRain012: is the blogger gonna save your newer stuff now?
I am NOT pangit: yah
MidniteRain012: anything really REALLY important you were trying to save?
I am NOT pangit: yeah...
I am NOT pangit: memories.
I am NOT pangit: =(
MidniteRain012: awwww sry
MidniteRain012: well save the website the page like you have it and yea save that
I am NOT pangit: oh wait
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: i found them
I am NOT pangit: XD
I am NOT pangit: hahahahaaha
MidniteRain012: *dork
I am NOT pangit: <---is stupid

*hides from shame*


Anywho... I better start blogging about my day before I forget about it/my mom gets here. English: Did our reading logs thingies. And read the first six chapters of Huckleberry Finn. [Dude.. I read this book when I was in Elementary school. -_-]. I got 15 extra credit points for reading three books in 6 weeks.... I only had to read 1. I did three 4 page reviews for each, also. o_O;. *is a nerd*. Lets see... did nothing at Computer Graphics. Well.. I chatted on AIM. I had Flash on my desktop just in case my teacher would come by---and when he saw me chatting/downloading music instead of doing my work, all he did was shake his head. o_O;;

But yeah, we're supposed to make Flash websites. I'm too lazy right now.... I'm going to procrastinate until the day before it's due and do it at home. After Computer Graphics, I went with Rachel [president of the Anime club] and wen to my very first Anime Pie meeting. It was realy fun, all we did was watch a really funny subbed Anime that I never heard of. Gahh, I forgot the name. Damn. [*must ask Rachel tommorow*].

After lunch, I didn't have class so I went home and got to working on my stupid layout. Heh. Christina came over... she watched TV and talked on my cellphone while I was online. My mom gets home and makes spaghetti... we eat, Christina leaves, and my mom is downstairs watching t.v. I think.

Later... homework time.

Song of the moment: "Zoot Suit Riot" by Cherry Poppin' Daddies
I am feeling: Accomplished.


Wheee! I'm almost finished with this stupid layout, go me. -_-

Anywho... yeah. I'll blog more later. *finally signs onto AIM*

I am making a new layout in replacement for this one, so yay.

Song of the moment: "Its up to you" by Korean Papaya
I am feeling: Mixed emotions


Wheee. The 947593475435 different personalities inside me are fighting again. WHEN WILL ALL OF THE VOICES GO AWAY? I am such a schizophrenic. Today, I felt really good from all of the good feedback I got from my hair. Bad? The fight with me and my mom was bothering me the entire day. What happened? I was on the computer from when I got home to when my mom got home. For the second time, I forgot to >unlock< the upper lock to our door, hence my mom lost her key for it. She starts yelling up from the first floor to the window of the computer room, trying to get my attention. It was a miracle that I heard her, because my music was >booming< so loud, I could barely even hear Personality #56 and Personality #87 argue inside my head.

I go downstairs to unlock the door, but before I open it, I could already hear my mom yelling through the wooden barrier. I thought, "Oh, Goody. Another drama scene just waiting to happen." I open the door, mother bursts in yelling, and I walk upstairs with not a single word. She yells and yells from the bottom of the stairs to the top, as I talk to people on AIM... telling them about my chaotic mom. For a few more minutes, I stayed online but eventually logged off because I couldn't handle my mom yelling behind me. As I make my way downstairs, she yells her final words and slams her door. Infuriated, I start punching my bed mattress and actually kicked the top mattress around the room like an old kicking bag from my old Tae Kwon Do days.

My mom unfortunately heard my kicking and punching, and timidly asked what it was. I didn't lie and she stomps her way downstairs asking me why I was doing that. I respond with, "I am kicking my mattress because I don't want to yell at you anymore, since you always hit me back for every single word that I yell. I don't want to yell at you anymore, because you get pissed off everytime I do it. I'm just trying to kick off that habit. OKAY?"

Guess what my mom does.

She gets even madder and starts yelling at me once again. I see her comming towards me, and quickly gulped down the three Extra Strength Tylenol pills I had prepeared earlier with a glass of water. I thought, This is going to take a while. And it did. Not a single comprehensive word came out of my mouth fter I said the words up above. My mom kept nagging how I shouldn't kick mattresses like that, because it was showing my anger. Showing my anger? I hadn't even scratched the surface of the face of my anger by kicking that mattress. She says that I only do that because I can't kick her. What the fuck? Why the hell would I ever kick her? I would never do that. I was putting my anger out on the mattress to prevent myself from talking back--nonetheless, yelling back. Shouldn't she be happy?

I actually timed her little rant. Forty-five minutes. Not bad. Through it all, I managed to keep silent and either adversly looked her in the eye, or focused on a spot on the wall. She kept going on and on how I forget to put my cell phone in front of me while I'm on the computer. Why? Because our family doesn't have cable, while my brother and I occupy our two phonelines with shitty AT&T Internet connection. She was trying to get a hold of me earlier, but couldn't. I already apologized for that a few days before, and I wasn't about to do it again. She also kept yelling about how I forgot to unlock the upper lock on our door... in which I only did twice.

She demanded for an apology. Me? Apologize? I was going about my own businness.... avoiding yelling at her and avoiding anymore conflict while SHE creates untruthful bullshit in attempt to make me apologize and cry. I was getting sick of her crap, so after that wholesome 45 minutes, I walked pass her while saying, "I have to do homework." and sat on the couch.

She stood in front of me. She tried to intimidate me and said, "Are you going to apologize or not?"

*moment of silence*

"I'm counting to three"

*silence*

"ISA" ["one" in Tagalog]

*more silence*

She never even got to "2". She just stood there. I looked at her and with an evil glare and quickly looked away. She then said, "From now on, I am not going to talk to you until you apologize. You better wake up tommorow, you're walking to school."

With that, she creates another 5.0 earthquake stomping back to her bedroom. And you know what I did after that? I LAUGHED. I laughed like a malevolent, homicidal maniac. She didn't do shit. And not talking to me? SHE DID ME A FAVOR. During her rant, I was actually standing in front of the knife cabinet and for a few abrupt minutes, I was thinking of suicide. At the time, she was telling me how much of a screw up I was and how no one loves me and how she feels sorry for anyone that has to deal with me day by day. Then, she starts "woeing" about herself and about having such a troublemaker daughter----one so unrespectfull and "stupid".

Ahem. Do I need to review what classes I have again? Physics? Algebra2/intro to Calculus? Intensive English? A 4.0 average? Being only a sophmore? Yeah. She doesn't care about anything like that. Not once, did she go to any of my open houses to meet my teachers--nor go to any of my award ceremonies, piano concerts, or Tae Kwon Do tournaments. She doesn't care. The only thing she does is give me money for all of the hobbies that I get into and the things that consume my time during the day just so that she wouldn't have to see my face. My face: "Her only mistake".

A mistake. I cannot wait until I graduate from high school and move to San Jose so I could go to SJSU. Ehh. The only reason why I want to go to the college is because I want to major in computers. I can easily go for being a doctor and go to Berkely or Stanford... I can make a pretty good lawyer or a scientist in astronomy. I dont' know why I'm thinking of being a web designer. I have the knowledge for it, but not much of the experience. I guess my interest in that area is slowly drifting away...

Anywho... what the hell was I talking about again? *sigh* Oh yeah, I was ranting about my mom. Somehow, the random ponders that I had while typing this blog entry up made me forget about my anger. Are you wondering about what personality has over-powered Mil's Personality #666, the Angered Bitch personality? None other than Personality #0. The dullhead, lifelesness personality. That of which, neutrolizes Mil's entire body and mind---leaving it with no emotions at all. I could do anything right now and have to concious about the consequences.

I think i'll just sit here until another personality of mine over powers this one. Hopefully, something more cheerful and less depressing.

Edit


I almost forgot to blog about today and mention what happened when you mess with me after another drama with my family. This idiot named Freddy that hangs out at my group of friends during school started complaining about some shit with my friend, Debbie. [she tolerates him... he just tags along with her as she rolls her eyes from his idiocy]. First, he busted out his worksheet of homework for ALGEBRA 1 and complains how much he had to do. Excuse me while I laugh in a hysterically maniac manner.

AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

After that, Debbie brings out our Calculus homework and shows Freddy what we had to do. Do you know what the idiot, Freddy responded with? "Oohh, Debbie stop complaining. All you do is complain" in his STUPID Santa Cruz, surfer accent. Oh my fucking God. [He always does this.... you know, be an idiot. And you know what? IT WAS AN IMPLUSE. I couldn't help myself, and my right hand was literally having a seizure.]

Me sitting right next to them; with my independant reading book in front of me: "You mother fucking hypocrite."
Freddy: "Whuuuuuut?"
Me: "You have no right to say that. Just a few seconds ago, you yourself was complaining about your homeowork. And you call THAT homework? Please."
Freddy: "Shut up."
Me: "What? What did you say? Me shut up? What the hell are you talking about? Are so you ignorant, that you don't see your actions... and the annoyed reactions around you? Are you stupid that you can't see Jimmy and Kyle talking about you and how they don't want you here? Or anywhere? Can't you see how everyone hates you? There might actually be someone out there that would truely like you; instead of pretending to like you just because they don't want to hurt your feelings if YOU just SHUT. UP."
Freddy: Uhh... [whispers "bitch"]
Me: Hahahahahhahaa. "You're calling me a bitch? Newflash: I AM A BITCH. Do you really think that your single opinion that has already been established will hurt me? Did you think that that small, insignificant and tackless comback will pay for your idiocy? How foolishly obliviant you must be. My own mother calls me a bitch, and I laugh in her face! Ha Ha! Little shit."


Oh my gosh. And here's a conversation I'm having right now from some random idiot that I don't even know. This is the first time he's IMed me, and already, I hate him.

EvA HyPeRBoLiC: doesn't seem like youre busy...
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: you must be tired....
I am NOT pangit: who is this?
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: its Nanai
I am NOT pangit: Nanai?
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: yeah, Nanai
I am NOT pangit: heh
I am NOT pangit: don't know you
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: yeah... the lone websurfer doods
I am NOT pangit: doods...?
I am NOT pangit: uhh.
I am NOT pangit: yeah.
I am NOT pangit: I'm just confused.
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: I made it plural to make it sound stupid
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: sorry if you're offended
I am NOT pangit: who... are you again?
I am NOT pangit: i don't need your name
I am NOT pangit: for i don't know it
I am NOT pangit: but... WHO are you?
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: I just told you twice!!
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: its Nanai!!
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: thats my real real name!
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: what did you think it was?
I am NOT pangit: NO.
I am NOT pangit: YOU IDIOT.
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: Larry?
I am NOT pangit: how the hell did you get my screen name?
I am NOT pangit: and who are you... as in what clique are you from?
I am NOT pangit: ddr?
I am NOT pangit: anime?
I am NOT pangit: what?
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: I surf alot
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: websurf that is
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: :-)
I am NOT pangit: That. Explains. A lot.
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: sorry if thats not enough...
EvA HyPeRBoLiC: I just told you what I already know
I am NOT pangit: WOW. HOW VERY INFORMATIVE. YOU MUST REALLY BE EMOTIONALLY CONFUSED. IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF? A WEBSURFER? THANK YOU FOR ENLIGHTENING ME, GOOD DAY SIR.


I guess the Angered Bitch personality hasn't fully passed yet.

Song of the moment: "Love 2000" by Yaida Hitomi
I am feeling: Even more pain from my teeth


I cut my hair today right before I had my three fillings done from my dentist. =)

Song of the moment: "Chun il Yoo Hon" by Shinhwa
I am feeling: THE PAIN. THAT ETERNAL PAIN ON MY LEFT BACK TOOTH. Oh.. so.... painfull....


Okay. Damn you people! I forgot what I was going to blog about because people kept IMing me. ;-;. Oh well, lol... at least I love every single person that IMed me! I love you guys. ^_~. From the A.S.S. chatroom:

icemilkm0nsta: ASS CRAMPS BLOW GOATS
I am NOT mataba: I BLOW GOATS.
I am NOT mataba: *hides*
SweatyBOY83: ass cramps suck
mil IS mataba: hahaha WAYNES WORLD
icemilkm0nsta: WHOA
lumpiamONsta: "youre ass is basically caved in for a long time" -jeff
lumpiamONsta: haahahahahahah
mil IS mataba: I BLOW GOATS is from waynes world


Yes, I am NOT mataba is me. ^^;;;



Anywho... I'll just type some random stuff that I wrote down as "blog" entries while I had school. Yes, I keep a journal on paper and gyeah. I write a lot more in it that I write for school. That essay? I had like, one and half week to do that essay. I finished the pre-write, rough draft and peer review in under two hours. Bwehehehehehe. Do you know how many pages of writing I accomplished in that one and half weeks of given time for my English essay? Let's try.... 15. Almost front and back. o_O;;. There, I write stories--continuation of stories, poems and random rantings about the world and my shitty [not always] life.

Blog during Physics with Mr. Groves
The leadership people in our school are such big oxymorons. God... I mean, I guess it's good and all that they're so preppy and hyper in attempt to get the kids in spirit for school, but do they have to be THAT perky? Imagine Barney on crack, and you have two thirds of the people in Leadership. *hurls*

Ahh, they leave. Thank God. Now my teacher is saying that we should never call spheres "balls"--especially him. Demonstration: "Okay, kids... bring out your balls and we'll do an experiment. *grin*". Or "Let's see how high the balls can bounce! Here, Samantha... try bouncing MY balls. I think David's are lop-sided."

*dies*

My teacher is such a kook.


Blog from English
This class is so dreadfully boring. I feel as if I'm not being challenged enough in this class, although when it comes to writing an actual essay on a book that I dislike so fucking much, makes me procrastinate until the last minute to do it. Literally. It makes me sad how I always have to write about shitty things like reviews for "Lord of the Flies" and all this crappy ass shit. It's even worse when I have a teacher with the idiocy that of a hobo on an overdosage of morphine.

Blog from home; something random from the T.V.
Uhh... there's this talkshow on right now about accepting yourself---whether you're ugly fat, etc., and how the outer image isn't everything. This one guy is talking about focusing more on the stuff inside.

Then, when the commercials turn on, that "48 hour Diet" thing comes on right after some commercial about a catalogue for men that are sizes 5XL and up. o_O; Ironic.

Partially written blog from today and last weekend
Today was boring. I haven't done my essay yet and it's due tommorow. Wheee. I just finished my book, the third sequel from the series of The Wheel of Time written by Robert Jordan. I think I already mentioned reading that book before, but yeah. I haven't been reading that much in the past few weeks and I just finished it. -_-;. I have 9 more books to read in this series, and each of them averaging over 700 pages each. *dies*

Anywho... Saturday was hella fun! *tries to remember what actually happened* Mmkay. I'll start with Saturday morning: I had to get to school by 11AM for this community service/extra credit thing for Mr. Heitz. My sister got home right before I was about to start walking to school, but I didn't ask her for a ride because she's a bitch anyway [and she left to go to the Philippines that day, too... thank God]. So, after arguing with her for a good 15 minutes, I realize that I'm going to be late--so I stormed out of the house, SLAMMED the door behind me while saying something about her dieing or whatever [again] and started freaking RUNNING to school.

It was a good run [*coughjogcough*] and I looked all over for Mr. Heitz, but he was there. And then I cried. But--I later on found him jumping up and down, signaling me from the other side of the football field. lol. He's so short. ^^;;;;. Anywho... I had to be the "clipper" person for the football game. I can't fully describe it, but it was hella easy and I only had to do that for the JV game. Harbor played Oakland, btw. Damn. I can't believe Oakland came all the way here to lose both JV and Varsity games. lol. XD!!!! Oakland sucks liek WHUUUUT. heh heh. Their Varsity players weren't that bad looking, though.. and they only lost by one touchdown. :P

Okay... after the JV game, I jogged back home [HELLA hot.] and the minute I get home, I immediately head for the shower. That was the first cold shower I've had in years. o_O;; But it was sooooo relaxing after running under the scorching sun all day. Ahhh. After the shower, I get dressed and ready for Miggle-ness. Yay!! I get to go to MGL AND my sister leaves town for 6 months! This is the happiest day of my life. XD

MGL

I walk into the arcades of Miggle, and I see George to my right playing Beatmania. After a quick glance and an eye roll, I turn my head the other way pretending I didn't know him. He walks up to me, puts his arm across my shoulder and greets me. WTF? Yeah. I responded with, "Heh.. Do I know you? T_T". lol. But yeah, we were cool the entire time I was there. It was a tad boring until A.S.S. got there, though.. which was two hours after I, myself, got there. I got to see Romy, Sean, Jennie, Milton, George [duh], umm and hella other people that I can't remember right now because my memory sucks beans.

A.S.S. comes, [yay!] and we hang out @ Miggle for a while. About an hour or so later, I start complaining that I was hungry [all i had that day was an apple... heh] so we go to Tapioca Express. [haha... after a game of DDR Max2, 4th+, and PPP]. I give Ray the 5 CDs with Jpop and Kpop music videos, and we watch some of them at Tap while I had level 1 chicken [yeah.. i'm a wimp. :x], a Taro milk tea with pearls and a green milk tea with pearls curtesy of Ray. :D Thank you much again, Ray! ^.^

Mmmkay.... I got to meet Josh [finally]. lol, I used to think he was white ^^;;;;;. Or did I think he was Filipino? Ahhh, I dunno. I forgot. I also saw Kristy... hella cool girl. But I didn't see Brad, Mike, or Erin! Grrrr. ^^;. Oh well! I might see them next Saturday if Chubs really does end up giving me a ride to Miggle. [hope he doesn't flake out again. =X]. Hrm... and we MIGHT go to Scandia next next Friday [the 18th] so gyeah. *big grin*.

What else happened.... gahhh. I know more happened, I just can't think right now. My back is hurting from the heavyness of my stupid backpack [I have to carry THREE textbooks every B Day with two note books, two big 700-paged novels, my planner, and a binder. *dies* I also have to WALK home everyday, too!]. My head is hurting from my teeth and the bitching from my mom, and my eyelids are heavy from school. Speaking of which, here's part of some random writing I did while I waited for the bell to ring during Art class. o_O;;;

The clock ticks. There is much to do, yet little is done. The lids to my eyes gain more weight and its coverage over my big, round brown iris lenghtens and I fall asleep. Ahh, sleep. The loud talking of my peers around me seem so soothing to the ear, like the debates of the show, "Crossfire" on my T.V. screen late into the night. Black, white and red flash to the front of me, with an elegeant touch of mellow yellow splattered on top. The relaxation of colors leave me in a trance of trepidation. Slowly, but surely, I feel myself afloat above the ground and the relaxation of my entire body seems to take over everything and peace to its finest has fully covered me from head to toe.

I wrote that after I finished cleaning up my art utensils and trays and crap... but before the bell rang. Let's say, 7 minutes? I actually fell asleep during that time for a few, heavenly seconds. ^^;

Song of the moment: "Gyoung-Go" by Tashannie
I am feeling: PAIN FROM MY TEETH


DAMNIT. Tommorow, I get to miss the second day of open gym for basketball just to get THREE of my teeth. Not only that, but I also have an appointment next Monday for a stuf root canal. Ugh.... like what Ray said, that's what I get for eating too much twinkies. D:

Anywho... I'll blog two seperate blogs for today. This one, for the posting of my stupid essay for English. This is an essay for the book, "Lord of the Mother Fucking Flies" by William Golding. I would be suprized if my root canal would be as painful as reading this book from page 1 to a gabazillion. -_-;


Of Younger Youth
The impact of influence on everyone;
expecially those dealing with the eager trepidation
of what's ahead, what's right and what is contradictorily wrong

Who are you? Do you know what, or who made you…. You? The way you talk, act and do things: Do you suppose that you picked up every slang, fad or look that you have just by being yourself? That would be impossible. Everyone has someone that they look up to; whether being their big brother, a super hero or any candidate around them that is mentally and physically capable of having an impact on that certain individual. Basically, we were born to first learn, and then eventually experience what we’ve actually learned. The things that we learn from when we were a baby to when we’re out of school is what makes us… uniquely enough, “us”, meaning, our inimitable selves. “Unmatchable” enough, we still have certain aspects that are extremely familiar or exactly like the people before and around us. We experience different personalities and by being around certain people with an uncanny ability to influence young minds around them, we start to pick up their unique trademark and signature slang. A great literature example of such human behavior is found in the book written by William Golding called, Lord of the Flies. Single handedly, Golding produced such a good example of the influence people have around those who are younger than they, or even of the same age. He writes about the influence of good behavior, trust, loyalty and the incongruous affect of the influence of bad behavior.

First of all, due to Ralph’s impact and leadership at the beginning of the book, the youngins immediately fall into silence when he blew the intimidating and powerful conch, seemingly following after the example of the older kids. Even with the immaturity level of the young ones [obviously, as they are young], they become more attentive and give their undivided attention to Ralph because the older kids showed them an example of good behavior. With the older kids’ obedience to their leader, the youngins follow like another flock amongst the herd.

Secondly, the trust and bond between two people can be disturbed by the influence of others and the impulse to gain their respect; from making themselves look better by making others look bad. For example, when Piggy specifically asked Ralph to keep his nickname a secret, Ralph still tells the group the name that Piggy has always dreaded being called in the past and present. The facial and verbal reaction that Piggy gave Ralph in retaliation, obviously showed how extremely mad and infuriated he was at Ralph’s disloyalty. “You told ‘em. After what I said.” Piggy confronted Ralph after the rest of the group’s refusal for him to go along with their expedition, “I said I didn’t care as long as they didn’t call me Piggy….” (25). But Ralph went and told them anyway, and in some weird natural human reaction, the group lost a portion of the respect that they had for Piggy after hearing about what other people used to call him. Concluding this assumption, here’s an imitation to the point of view of the other kids:

Just because other kids called him that before, I suppose it’s okay for me to point, laugh and bring him down like the rest has done in the past, right? And since everyone else is doing it, I might as well do it along with them. It’s the “cool” thing to do… Right?

In sequence, even after the insignificant conflict between Ralph and Piggy, the two seem to keep loyal to each other even to the certain unchangeable conclusion at the end [the death of Piggy on page 180]. With all of the temptation that the other group [Jack’s hunters], Ralph remains “civilized” and supports Piggy, as Piggy does the same. In this particular situation, the influence that others had to offer never once reached the heads of the two sagaciously intelligent individuals. Henceforth, the two managed to stop the natural instinct to “see and do”. From what they learned from before, they managed to know between right and wrong—specifically being, from the civilized way of rules and leadership, to the chaotic lifestyle of killing and non-conservative ways as the hunters carried on as. For example, Piggy tries to reason out the rest of the group by giving a small speech right before he was massacred by a big boulder, “Which is better—to have rules and agree, or to hunt and kill?” (180). Sadly, Piggy’s good judgment and integrity is outrageously outnumbered by the bad influence of Jack, Roger and the rest of the negatively prestigious young boys.

Lastly, the consecutive examples of Jack’s misleading guidance to the group of the hunters eventually turned out for the worse [in terms of the “good guys” like Ralph and Piggy]. Jack’s obsession with killing and the hunting of pigs [and later on, kids of their own specie] has influenced the latter of the group and towards the end, the entire group in no extension with either Ralph nor Piggy. His negative leadership along with Roger’s notorious “bully” ways has corrupted the way the rest of the group thinks. Their leadership with the killing of Piggy, the hunting of Ralph and their enforced influence on Sam and Eric critically shows one of the worst parts of our natural instinct to follow after the influence of other people.

In conclusion, the influence of the people around a certain individual can have a huge affect on that person’s thoughts, feelings and judgment. Not once in history, was there ever a person who never once picked up and a single interpretation and imitated the same thought or action. We carry on with our lives from the lives of other people in derivativeness—call it being a copycat, or just another eager mind in ponders of its possibilities. Ponder, as to which, the minds of other people. We ask ourselves questions of what action is right or wrong—integrity wise or social wise; we gaze around the influence of other people for guidance and [positive or not] for leadership.




Yeah. I can't blog right now.... this took me almost an hour to just copy and paste because i'm talking to way toooooooo many people at the same time. x_X;;;;;